Marriage between Persons of Opposite Orientations

While there is a great deal of variability among individuals regarding their desire to have children, there is little difference between groups based on their sexual orientation. The concern, from a marriage counseling point of view, is that one should not let one's desire to have children (or for social reasons) enter into a heterosexual marriage if one does not have a heterosexual orientation.

One partner engages in an activity they don't like and would rather avoid. The other doesn't understand why there is nothing they can do to sexually satisfy their partner. With neither one satisfied, the chances of looking for satisfaction outside the relationship are great.

When the situation becomes untenable, which it almost always will, any children will be devastated, not just as any children are when their parents break up, but also in knowing their parents have been living a lie the whole time they were married. There is nothing a counselor can do to help in this situation where one partner enjoys sex while the other finds it disgusting.

To avoid this tragedy we must allow those who are not heterosexual to have the joy (and pain) of having and raising children by various other methods. To deny them the right to have or adopt children due to some irrationally based animosity towards those who have a different sexual orientation is simply unacceptable. (From: Family Scholar's blog Comment #13)